White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
