I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
