Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I party with great urgency now.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
