y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
