walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize