we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
