The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
