when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
