A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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