So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
