listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
