This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
