It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
How external is "for external use only"?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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