Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just made my gag reflex go away.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
