I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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