Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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