Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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