Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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