But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
