You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She's the barista slut.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
