Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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