North Korea, Best Korea!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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