I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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