Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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