It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
