Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
