You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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