i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize