Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
