Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
