she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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