Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
