U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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