Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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