i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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