She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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