Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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