Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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