i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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