I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the day after is always just damage control
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
