I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
