Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
