You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
