Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize