S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
