Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
