And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
