I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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