where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
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