i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
