Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
