you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
