Me. At least after what I've been through.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
