i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
