Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
