we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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