How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
