Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
