sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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