: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize