What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Fuck appropriateness.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
